My daughter refused a piece of chocolate orange today, which is most out of character. When I asked her why not, her reply sickened me to my very core. ‘Because I’m getting fat.’
On hearing those words, even I didn’t want a piece of chocolate orange. Let’s get something clear straight away. My daughter is six and she is not fat, not in the slightest. She is one of those girls who are all long, almost gangly legs. As a baby she was always a little underweight, not even making it onto the 0.4th centile for weight most weeks. But that really isn’t all that important. What is important is the fact that she is only six years old.
What pressures do our children face? All of a sudden, my daughter wants Lelli Kelly shoes, a mobile phone (!) and the latest Hello Kitty T-shirt . She also loves teddies, dolls and age-appropriate books, by the way. But she is feeling the pressure of today’s must-have society. I know that as an adult woman, one of the greatest must-haves is a slim body and now it seems that is leaching into our chidlrens’ world too.
It breaks my heart to think that my daughter is worrying about being fat when she should be worrying about what will happen to Jerry if Tom catches him. This isn’t the first time she has mentioned her body shape to me and this latest plea for perfection has reminded me of how short and precious childhood really is these days.
I know all about eating disorders and I have always done my best to keep hidden my own anxieties about my weight… at least I thought I had. You see, I can blame society- and there is no denying that the images of perfect bodies and the portryal of overweight people in the media has a bit part to play here- but I must also ask myself whether or not I had anything to do with this. My daughter is six, she isn’t stupid.
We do our best to encourage our daughter to hold positve views on herself. We praise her constantly and we do not condone her making fun of others who look a little different to the norm. She is a very sensitive girl and she hates to think that anyone is upset, particularly if she had been the cause of that upset. She believes in seeing the best in people and that results in some poor friend choices, we think. But like I said, she’s six years old.
We have told our daughter that every single person looks different, so that we can tell them apart for a start. How boring the world would be if we all looked the same- we have to be different shapes and sizes. At the same time we need to teach our daughter healthy eating habits and so her refusal to eat a piece of chocolate orange was actually a good decision on that front. The reasons behind it, though, are the cause for concern.
We’ve decided to treat the matter lightly for now. We don’t want to give too much weight to a comment that may well have been innocent and not actually due to a deep-seated desire to be thin, before her time. The whole thing has me thinking though. Why do we all want to be thin? Why are women, girls, starving themselves to fit into a sterotype of what we feel we ought to look like? Why does my daughter have to grow up in a world that is airbrushed and shallow?
As I kissed my daughter goodnight this evening, I lingered a little longer than usual. I told her I loved her and I told her that she is beautiful. I tell her that everyday, countless times, but tonight there was something more in my heart. There was a feeling that perhaps she is growing up a little faster than I had wanted, or expected her to. Then she turned to me, teddy tucked under her arm and with a smile, she said, ‘Mummy, where does snot come from?’ Phew! There was me worrying that her head was full of worries she didn’t need yet. I went downstairs knowing that, for tonight at least, she is still six years old.
Mumable Author: SusuRem
