I didn’t really do pregnancy very well, I didn’t glow, I didn’t bloom and I certainly didn’t enjoy them.

Both my successful pregnancies were not times of joy, in fact if I am truthful I hated being pregnant. I adore the outcomes, but the nine months I spent pregnant with each of the boys are non events in my life.

There isn’t a photograph of me pregnant, none of these gorgeous bump photographs other people do. I didn’t want a camera near me, I didn’t want a record of the time I spent longing not to be pregnant.

I suffered with Hyperemesis with both pregnancies, which meant that I was sick from pretty much day one right through to after I gave birth. I didn’t just have morning sickness, oh no I had pretty much constant nausea coupled with vomiting, on a good day I would only be sick 7 or 8 times on a bad day I was sick constantly.

I was hospitalised on numerous occasions in order to be re hydrated and to try and establish which medication would help me not to be sick.

I remember this as such a horrible time, I went to my GP and explained about the sickness thinking that maybe I was making too big a think about it, as didn’t most people suffer with morning sickness and she was fantastic.

As were the doctors at the hospital, they put me on a drip and stabilised me and them the showed my husband how to administer the anti-sickness medication by injections in my bottom, which he gave me three times a day for the remainder of my pregnancy.

I would love to say that this made the sickness and nausea go away, but it didn’t. What it did do was lesson the severity meaning that I only vomited 7 or 8 times a day. I still felt pretty much constantly sick, which I can only describe as the feeling you get when drunk, the room would spin and I would lose my balance.

We tried pretty much everything, ginger, reflexology, lollipops, dry toast, sea bands. The only thing that helped a little was acupuncture. It gave me a days relief, which was bliss.

What I found really hard was the amount of people telling me that I should have been enjoying being pregnant, I felt a fraud.  I was pregnant, not ill, but I felt so angry.  I wanted to bloom, I wanted to show off my bump, but I looked terrible, my nails, kept splitting, my hair was failing out and I was covered in horrible spots.

Pregnancy should be a time of joy, but I felt as though I was carrying a parasite rather than a child and I spend my pregnancy wish each day away, as it was one less day to be sick.  I felt do guilty we longed for children and yet I even contemplated terminations as the sickness was so debilitating.

My whole pregnancies were spent this way, I was so sick that I was brought in to hospital at 37 weeks  with my eldest and induced.  I still remember the horror of being told that I needed a crash section due to a placental abruption and that I couldn’t have a general as they were worried that I would vomit and choke under the anesthetic.  So I gave birth with a topped up epidural in considerable pain with two nurses suctioning the vomit.  I can laugh about it now, but at the time I can assure you it was frightening.

Yet, I did it all again, I was pregnant again by the time he was 6 months old and this time I did it with a baby.  I got used to being sick, used to the trice daily injections and had a scheduled section at 37 weeks pregnant.  I gave birth to two very healthy and happy boys, who have no idea of the pain and heartache I suffered through my pregnancies and if I have my way never will.

Mumable Author: Jen Walshaw
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About Jen Walshaw
I am a mum of two energetic and excitable little boys, who loves to craft and just be with them. I feel passionately that children should be given access to craft and art and have the freedom to make a mess and not get shouted at! My personal blog is TheMadHouse http://themadhouse-themadhouse.blogspot.com, where life is never quiet, but not always interesting and I am proud to be shortlisted in The Mad Awards http://www.the-mads.com/ (Mummy and Daddy Blogger Awards) for the Best Family Fun Blog.

  • Crikey! I'm not sure I could have done it again, you are very brave! That sounds horrendous. I can't remember much about my pregnancy, apart from having terrible heartburn during the last 4 months or so.

    CJ xx

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